I was absolutely fascinated when I ran across a blog by a guy arguing that all a man really wants, in life, is validation—primarily from his mother, girlfriends and eventually his life partner. The author goes on to claim that men are extremely vulnerable and that deep down they really just want to be unconditionally loved, just like a little boy.
He advises that women learn to listen objectively and to reflect feelings expressed by him without advising, criticizing or trying to change him. He suggests that women are the ones with the real power and that when you find a man that cherishes you and treats you well all you need to do is give him unconditional love and continued validation and you will have him in the palm of your hands for life. You’ve got to be kidding me—this is a man writing this?
Could it be that simple? Is it possible that men just want us to pat them on the head and rub their belly?
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A pat on the head? No. Most men seek respect. They seek it from other men and from the women in their lives. We women give them tons of it initially, noting and enjoying all their strengths. Then we switch to noticing their weaknesses and pushing for improvement, and we lose them.
ReplyDeleteThe worst part? Many of the things we want them to fix are just things we are so afraid to face in ourselves that we're pushing them off onto someone who impressed us as able to handle them. When we take back responsibility for our own wellbeing, we grow, and we notice how really great it is to have them in our lives.
Excellent points Patty. Thank you for sharing your perspective.
ReplyDeleteMy man has to have valadation from women on his job. He will go to them with his problems. I am last to know.
ReplyDelete