On December 7, 2001 The Wall Street Journal published an interesting article on the shortage of women. The report showed a trend in men’s marrying age, waiting until their late thirties and early 40’s before making a life-long commitment. The underlying reason for this is probably that men have bought into the American family myth where the man is the head of the household only if he is the chief breadwinner. In other words, these men are trying to assert themselves professionally to a point where they feel financially independent with the means of supporting a family.
If one adds up the number of men in this age category (quite a few – their part of the baby boomer generation) and then adds up the relatively few generation X women who are usually between 4 and 10 years younger, 30 something women have at least 3 to 4 men to choose from apiece.
A 1986 national survey commissioned by Glamour magazine found a rising preference for the single life among women in their twenties and thirties: 90 percent of the never-married women said, "the reason they haven't married is that they haven't wanted to yet."
A review of fourteen years of U.S. National Survey data charted an 11 percent jump in happiness among 1980s-era single women in their twenties and thirties--and a 6.3 percent decline in happiness among married women of the same age.
The more women are paid, the less eager they are to marry. A 1982 study of three thousand singles found that women earning high incomes are almost twice as likely to want to remain unwed as women earning low incomes.
Final thoughts from Chris Williams
Another point (and I can verify this through my own experience) is that by the ages of 38 - 42 single men tend to find the dating game as monotonous, boring, and expensive with nothing to show for it. They begin to look past a woman’s hair, boobs, and butt to see a human being with wants, needs, and values similar to their own – a person with whom they can truly share life’s hidden surprises.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Why Are More Men Waiting to Marry? Answers from a Recent Rutgers Report
A recent article from ABC news summarizes a Rutgers University study analyzing why men are less eager to marry...
Excerpts from the article:
“Men don't need to get married to get what they want these days -mainly sex - so they feel comfortable in putting off that long term commitment until they have a few bucks in the bank, and a mortgage to pay off.”
Sure, I think this is part of it, but I think the sense of independence is a bigger driver for most men. Most boys don’t become “men” until well after their thirtieth birthday.
More from the Rutgers Report…
The researchers conducted eight meetings with 60 "not-yet-married" men in northern New Jersey, Chicago, Washington, D.C., and Houston. The men were ages 25 to 33, and none of them were gay. Is this a valid sample size???
Men are now waiting on average until the age of 27 to marry, compared to 25 for women, but that doesn't mean they are against marriage as an institution, according to the co-directors of the project, David Popenoe, a behavioral scientist and professor of sociology at Rutgers, and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, a marriage expert. Men, they conclude, just aren't in any hurry.
"The good news is that men who marry later may be more financially stable and emotionally mature," says Popenoe.
The participants indicated that they want a woman who is able to take care of herself, which is somewhat of a reversal from the macho old world attitudes of just a generation or two ago.
"Most of the men in these groups want to marry at some future time in their lives," the researchers conclude. "They expect their marriages to last a lifetime. Like the majority of young adults today, they are seeking a `soul mate'."
"Today's young men encounter few, if any, traditional pressures from religion, employers or society to marry," the researchers state, although they do get a bit of ribbing from parents who want grandchildren and colleagues who have already made that trip to the altar.
One area that concerns many men, according to the research, is the fear of failure. They see friends who are too willing to give up at the first sign of disharmony, and there's no question that marriage is not an easy institution to maintain.
The researchers believe marriage has a much better chance of surviving if both partners expect it to last a lifetime. Attitude at the opening gun seems to be very important.
But here's a line from the report that is worth pondering: "Men see marriage as a final step in a prolonged process of growing up." Not surprisingly, some of the guys who participated in the project are still living with their parents.
Excerpts from the article:
“Men don't need to get married to get what they want these days -mainly sex - so they feel comfortable in putting off that long term commitment until they have a few bucks in the bank, and a mortgage to pay off.”
Sure, I think this is part of it, but I think the sense of independence is a bigger driver for most men. Most boys don’t become “men” until well after their thirtieth birthday.
More from the Rutgers Report…
The researchers conducted eight meetings with 60 "not-yet-married" men in northern New Jersey, Chicago, Washington, D.C., and Houston. The men were ages 25 to 33, and none of them were gay. Is this a valid sample size???
Men are now waiting on average until the age of 27 to marry, compared to 25 for women, but that doesn't mean they are against marriage as an institution, according to the co-directors of the project, David Popenoe, a behavioral scientist and professor of sociology at Rutgers, and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, a marriage expert. Men, they conclude, just aren't in any hurry.
"The good news is that men who marry later may be more financially stable and emotionally mature," says Popenoe.
The participants indicated that they want a woman who is able to take care of herself, which is somewhat of a reversal from the macho old world attitudes of just a generation or two ago.
"Most of the men in these groups want to marry at some future time in their lives," the researchers conclude. "They expect their marriages to last a lifetime. Like the majority of young adults today, they are seeking a `soul mate'."
"Today's young men encounter few, if any, traditional pressures from religion, employers or society to marry," the researchers state, although they do get a bit of ribbing from parents who want grandchildren and colleagues who have already made that trip to the altar.
One area that concerns many men, according to the research, is the fear of failure. They see friends who are too willing to give up at the first sign of disharmony, and there's no question that marriage is not an easy institution to maintain.
The researchers believe marriage has a much better chance of surviving if both partners expect it to last a lifetime. Attitude at the opening gun seems to be very important.
But here's a line from the report that is worth pondering: "Men see marriage as a final step in a prolonged process of growing up." Not surprisingly, some of the guys who participated in the project are still living with their parents.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
