I started searching for articles and tests that discuss one's readiness for marriage and ran across this movie from 1950. Love the the Cupid Checklist... oh, when life was so simple. ;-)
Part one - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkLBhNblBas
Part two - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fy098SgEKpQ
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
Intention, Regret & Worry
I was sitting with two of my best girlfriends the other day, listening to their relationship perils, when one girlfriend said, “I think my problem is I don’t know what I want.” I immediately jumped in with my new age INTENTION speech, “Well you’ll never manifest what you want if you don’t have intention.” And again she repeated, “But I don’t know what kind of guy I’m looking for. I’m all over the map.” She proceeded, “Maybe I just need to date a ton of guys and figure it out”. I retorted, “Perhaps a better idea is to figure out who YOU REALLY ARE before approaching any more relationships”.
And then I thought about myself… I’m so great at dishing good advice but am challenged to heed it. I THINK I know who I am and what I want, to the point that I have my 1, 5, and 20 year goals, along with my Mr. Right list, but do I really? I went from a 10 year relationship to another long-term relationship with 4 whole weeks between!
In my defense I do believe I’ve finally grown into the person I’ve aspired to be and am secure in who I am and what I want. Thus I’m justified, right?
But aren’t we constantly changing? Well yes and no. Of course we evolve into, hopefully, more enlightened beings as we age, but does this change the fundamentals of what we’re looking for? Again, yes and no. I think it’s only now that I have a much better glimpse of what I really want out of a relationship, mate, and eventually (hopefully) a life partner. And it was only into my early 30’s that I really began to figure this out. Is this due to my age or the fact that I’ve had the luxury of marriage and divorce?
I call it a luxury because I got away relatively unscathed. And in the end, in hindsight, it was an incredible learning experience. I wouldn’t change it for the world, which is fortunate because even if I wanted to I can’t!
That’s the funny thing about life... we are constantly trying to control things WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER!
First off... you have REGRET --- I too fall prey to this ridiculous concept much more than I would like to admit. What is the point of regret? You can’t change what’s done. So why dwell on it? Why live in the past? The point is to learn and move on from the mistakes we made, right?
But let me take it one step further. We are the ones, perhaps based on societal standards, that LABEL things a MISTAKE.
What if there were no mistakes? What if there only actions. What if we followed the wisdom of Chopra and so many others and took a PAUSE between ACTION and REACTION. What if we didn’t pull our reaction from our behavioral paradigm? What if we didn’t label things as good and bad? What if we just watched or observed and let things pass without judgment? Seems almost impossible, but there has got to be a way!
Another amusing one is WORRY or STRESS. One of my favorite age old adages is, “Don’t worry about the things you DON’T control… because you don’t control them. And don’t worry about the things you DO control… because you control them.” Again, I recognize that a little stress moves us to action when in a situation of danger, but 99.9% of the stress or worry the average person feels on a daily basis is totally UNNESSARY!
And then I thought about myself… I’m so great at dishing good advice but am challenged to heed it. I THINK I know who I am and what I want, to the point that I have my 1, 5, and 20 year goals, along with my Mr. Right list, but do I really? I went from a 10 year relationship to another long-term relationship with 4 whole weeks between!
In my defense I do believe I’ve finally grown into the person I’ve aspired to be and am secure in who I am and what I want. Thus I’m justified, right?
But aren’t we constantly changing? Well yes and no. Of course we evolve into, hopefully, more enlightened beings as we age, but does this change the fundamentals of what we’re looking for? Again, yes and no. I think it’s only now that I have a much better glimpse of what I really want out of a relationship, mate, and eventually (hopefully) a life partner. And it was only into my early 30’s that I really began to figure this out. Is this due to my age or the fact that I’ve had the luxury of marriage and divorce?
I call it a luxury because I got away relatively unscathed. And in the end, in hindsight, it was an incredible learning experience. I wouldn’t change it for the world, which is fortunate because even if I wanted to I can’t!
That’s the funny thing about life... we are constantly trying to control things WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER!
First off... you have REGRET --- I too fall prey to this ridiculous concept much more than I would like to admit. What is the point of regret? You can’t change what’s done. So why dwell on it? Why live in the past? The point is to learn and move on from the mistakes we made, right?
But let me take it one step further. We are the ones, perhaps based on societal standards, that LABEL things a MISTAKE.
What if there were no mistakes? What if there only actions. What if we followed the wisdom of Chopra and so many others and took a PAUSE between ACTION and REACTION. What if we didn’t pull our reaction from our behavioral paradigm? What if we didn’t label things as good and bad? What if we just watched or observed and let things pass without judgment? Seems almost impossible, but there has got to be a way!
Another amusing one is WORRY or STRESS. One of my favorite age old adages is, “Don’t worry about the things you DON’T control… because you don’t control them. And don’t worry about the things you DO control… because you control them.” Again, I recognize that a little stress moves us to action when in a situation of danger, but 99.9% of the stress or worry the average person feels on a daily basis is totally UNNESSARY!
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