Thursday, July 2, 2009

Does the Mass Media Portray Thirty-Something Men & Women Differently?

We've received over 350 in-depth stories from men and women on the topic of marriage. One question that has seemed to draw unanimous response is: "Do you feel the mass media portrays the 30 something male differently than the 30 something female?” I felt this woman's response was particularly insightful…

Female, 34, New York City
"Absolutely. The media portrays 30 something (single) females in a negative light. If a 30 something single woman expresses a desire to be married and have children, she is labeled as "desperate" and as though there is something wrong with expressing this desire. On the other hand if the same woman expresses contentment with remaining unmarried and without children, she is viewed as cold, picky, unfeminine, self centered, wanting to put her career ahead of family, selfish, etc. The media portrays 30 something single women as being unattractive and undesired by men of a similar age - and there are many articles that portray the so-called "man drought", which, I believe, attempt to create fear in such women. There is definitely a message out there that, as a woman ages, her value as a person and her "lovability" diminishes as her youth fades. There really isn't a lot of recognition that as a woman gets older, her strengths and attributes are enhanced as a result of life experience. The underlying message is that if a 30 something woman is single, she somehow needs to be punished or deserving of a life void of relationships. For 30 something men there is definitely a different message portrayed by the media. The media shows that men of this age group are at their peak desirability and attractiveness. Their personal and career achievements are celebrated and recognized. Movies and tv will frequently portray the older, experienced male with the young and naive female. Also, if a 30 something male expresses a desire to get married and have a family, the media positively reinforces his desire to "settle down". If a 30 something male suggests he is averse to marriage and kids, the message is inevitably that his decision has been influenced from meeting women who have unrealistically high standards of men. When I approached my 30s, I found myself thinking more about being married and having a family, and the desire for my life to be more than just about me. Women are careers and nurturers by design, and I think this is a common stage of thinking for women to go through, particularly those who are single as they approach their 30s. The fact that the media tends to poo-poo this desire, is very saddening - women are being actively discouraged by the media from expressing their innate desires."

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